Preparing for the DigiTalk with your teen

Does it feel like the most meaningful conversation you’ve had with your teenager recently is about what you’re having for dinner? Getting teenagers to talk about anything can often seem like a struggle, let alone when the conversation is about something serious, scary or embarrassing.

You’re not alone but know it’s always worth persevering to help your child thrive both online and offline.

To ensure that you’re equipped to have the DigiTalk with your teen, we’ve put together a guide that covers everything you need to consider before you dive right in.

A conversation isn't a lecture

If you haven’t had a chat with your child about their online world before, build up to it by first letting them know you’re interested in what they’re doing. Jumping straight to concerns is likely to shut down any conversation.

Try first asking them to show you what they are up to. Start with some questions like “Can you show me what you’d do if you needed to block someone on that site or app?”

This could lead into a discussion about whether they have ever had to do that, or what sort of behaviours would lead them to take that action.

Be prepared

Firstly, know a bit about the current sites or apps they’re using. Common Sense Media is a great resource that features reviews on popular movies, games, shows, social apps and podcasts. This site identifies the key themes of the content your child is interested in and can empower you to decide if it is appropriate for their age group.

Our Gamers Guide also features some great practical advice about appropriate terms and words to use.

You don’t need to be an expert, but using the wrong terms could backfire because your teenager might think you really have no idea what’s going on.

The eSafety Guide is a great place to find out the process of blocking and reporting content for different apps. It also provides steps to follow if something concerning arises, such as image-based abuse.

Pick your moment and style

Having a serious conversation can be hard for anyone if it isn’t the right time. It can be less intimidating if it’s while you’re doing something else – maybe in the car or walking the dog together.

You could also consider starting the conversation via text or messenger, where it can be easier to express things than face to face.

If the conversation isn’t going anywhere, or if they ask you to leave it for now, it’s OK to come back to it at another time. However, if someone is at immediate risk, explain why you need to follow up right away.

Thinking critically

The old adage, ‘if something is too good to be true...’ applies to the online world too. With scams becoming increasingly sophisticated, it’s worth ensuring you are talking through how to avoid falling for something when the consequences could range from embarrassment to losing money.

Don’t be afraid to use examples from your own life or the news to start these conversations. It’s also not always about losing something – thinking critically about the reliability of news that you read and share is a skill that also needs practice.

Ask things like “Where do you go to find information? How do you know you can trust it?” If they can’t tell you, then it’s a great opportunity to investigate together!

Leaving a positive mark

Reputation can be hard to shake if there is evidence of certain things that have been said or done. Talk about the chances to leave a good mark on the online world, rather than a negative one.

Ask your teen if they have any strategies they use to stop and think before they post something – either publicly or just in their circle of friends. And if they don’t, it’s an opportunity to talk about it and then create it together.

Explore our conversation cards