As we lead our children through life and its many challenges, we’re often guiding them on how to make good choices and engage well with others. We teach them to say “please” and “thank you” and all the necessary nuances of engaging with the broader world from a very early age, but do we ever stop to consider how this translates into online behaviour?
While the basic skills will vary based on a child’s age group and the correlating interests they have, there are some basic behaviours that it is good to establish as they grow and develop. We’ve developed a simple list for three different age ranges which cover the rules that you might want to put in place and some key skills for building open communication.
Early years – children under 5:
- Begin early by setting clear and simple rules about technology use, including which devices your child can use, which websites and platforms they engage with, and boundaries around use time and routines.
- Take the time to explore technology and use websites and apps – either before your child accesses them, or together, and use this opportunity to apply general etiquette to an online environment.
- While you’re sharing this experience you can also build the foundations to have open and honest chats about technology use.
- Walk the talk - model good use of technology in your own behaviour to set a good example.
- Show an interest in the activities your children enjoy and offer up suggestions for other relevant content and activities that build their knowledge, experiences and skills.
Primary and middle school – children aged 5 - 12:
- Review rules about technology use and adapt these to suit the child’s developmental stage. For example, you might decide that children are ready to try out different platforms and apps with guidance and supervision or to change the rules to give them more autonomy if they have earned your trust.
- Consider limiting their technology use to shared areas of the house and keep technology out of private spaces like bedrooms.
- Involve children in discussions about rules around technology use (as appropriate) and consider signing a family technology agreement that everyone sticks to build good habits and actions.
- Get to know the privacy and safety settings of digital products and services that your child uses, and make sure these are set to the highest settings.
- Show an interest in the websites and apps that they enjoy and try to learn more about them – get a head start by exploring the list on the eSafety guide.
- Encourage critical thinking skills by discussing different types of content online and how some information might be misleading or harmful or how information, images and videos could be edited.
- Encourage children to talk to you about the things they experience or see online and listen actively when they do.
- Talk to your children about online risks – and safety messages, and discuss some strategies about how they can navigate certain risks that come up to build their digital resilience and skills.
High school – children aged 13 - 17:
- While rules are important at all developmental stages, it is important that rules adapt and evolve to give children more autonomy as they get older. Take the time to discuss the importance of rules around technology use and negotiate the rules together to adapt to changing needs.
- Continue to show an interest in the platforms and apps that they enjoy and find out more about them (or ask them to show you). This opens up opportunities for discussion around the good aspects of the things that interest them as well as the things that can go wrong.
- Make sure you know the key challenges their age group might face online – and ask about them specifically.
- Talk to them about things you have heard or read about and ask them how they might handle specific risks if they came up. This provides an opportunity to brainstorm strategies together. Parents can also ask how they could support children best in those instances, which helps build further trust and support.
- Continue to develop their critical thinking skills by talking about misleading information or edited images and how we can recognise or assess the accuracy of content we access. It’s also a good idea to talk about the consequences of sharing inaccurate or harmful information and how this can impact beliefs, attitudes and behaviours.
If you are concerned about your child’s behaviour online, you can contact the eSafety Commissioner and if you’re looking for someone to speak to, the team on the Dolly’s Dream Support Line can provide you with advice and guidance. You can contact the support line on 0488 881 033.
This advice has been produced using guidance from our team of industry experts.
