Holidays, events and “special” days are traditionally part of the experiences for children that generally resonate and stay in their memories.
Christmas, Easter, Mothers’ Day, Fathers’ Day and Birthdays are usually considered a time for celebration for a lot of people; so, it may feel surprising, challenging or even annoying that some people may not celebrate or want to celebrate on these “special occasions”. For children who have experiences of trauma and/or have experienced disruptions within their adult attachment relationships, days of celebration can sometimes feel unmanageable or even be reminders of past experiences. If children within your Centre have; adverse experiences, a wide variety of religious and cultural affiliations or a non-traditional living situation, there is the potential that special days like birthdays, Christmas and even “special persons” days at kindergarten can be difficult.
There are many situations where children may struggle with these special events. For some, who may not feel connected or safe with an adult in their world, or who may have experiences of abuse or negative responses when they become overly excited and “hyperactive” during special days or celebrations. Children may also have caregivers who are struggling financially, and the stressors of celebrations become overwhelming. Other situations may include a split parent household, a same-sex parent household, a religious or cultural belief that means they do not celebrate birthdays, Christmas, or Easter.
Despite these days often being seen as important and celebratory for young children, with the stress of such events, it can cause children to become dysregulated, angry, sad or even jealous.
Consideration should be given to the family situations of every child in the Centre when planning for ‘special days’; with many centers opting to broaden the scope of the days- eg: “special persons day” rather than mothers’ day or grandparents day, some services will choose not to participate in special days and keep consistency and routine going in their room, whilst other services like to give children an option to create something for Easter or Fathers’ Day/Mothers’ Day and have extra activities available for the children who do not wish to participate.
Whatever your Centre chooses to do on these ‘special occasion’ days, ensuring you consider a trauma-informed approach will be beneficial to every child and family.
- Allowing children to have choices around participation, and respecting their decision if they choose not to, will empower children to feel that they have a voice and create opportunities for curious discussions- eg: “I wonder if it can make you feel sad when we talk about our grandparents”.
- Ensuring that special occasions are not the only focus in the room and not tokenistic
- Learning about each family’s unique make up and needs
- Approaching special days with a sensitivity that not all children will want to engage or participate.
- Consider if there are other cultural significant celebrations or days that families may recognize instead or ways that belonging can be celebrated, rather than specific days/people
Have a look at the ACECQA website and resource for ways to explore celebrations in the early years.
